6'1" Hot Pink Flamingo

June 1, 1998

UNTO THEIR EXCELLENCIES DIETRICH AND YNEZ: BARON AND BARONESS OF TWIN MOONS

GREETINGS:

This is a true story that I heard. At least, this is the way I heard it. OK, some of this story might be what Leo told me, as I recall.

"No shit, there I was at the Kingdom Arts and Sciences Champion Tournament. Armed with only a shield and an axe, I looked up to see a nightmare of purple and pink. My opponent was Hafdar Toemangler in his purple surcoat. His huge purple surcoat. For weapons he had drawn spear and flamingo, a 6'1" Hot Pink Flamingo!

"Well, I wasn't sure how you defended against a Hot Pink Flamingo (or attacked it, for that matter), so I just swung my axe. Hafdar countered with the Hot Pink Flamingo, right between the beard of the axe and the shaft! We struggled to free the weapons, but they were locked together. Hafdar finally lost his grip, and there I was, one hand tied up holding a shield, the other burdened with an axe and 6'1" Hot Pink Flamingo welded together. I was frantically trying to shake loose the flamingo to use the axe, while fending off spear thrusts from Hafdar. At last, I threw a desperation blow with the axe, 6'1" Hot Pink Flamingo and all! And connected!

Hafdar looked at the flamingo and decided that, if it was a weapon, he must be dead, and promptly died!"

I think Leo has shown us that he is truly a creative fighter, as befits a new-belted knight. Some day, he will have to instruct future sguires on how to handle an opponent with a 6'1" Hot Pink Flamingo. He could call the lesson

"How to Give a Figher the Bird!"

In Service to the Dream:

Owen Blakshepe